Privacy

This is the web site of The Hellavangalists.

Our postal address is
123 Fake Street
Fake Town, FS
12345

We can be reached via e-mail at fakeband@thehellavangalists.net
or you can reach us by telephone at 555-6758

For each visitor to our Web page, our Web server automatically recognizes your fingerprints.

We collect the e-mail addresses of those who post messages to our bulletin board, the e-mail addresses of those who communicate with us via e-mail, the e-mail addresses of those who make postings to our chat areas, name and address, payment information (e.g., credit card number and billing address) and fingernail clippings.

With respect to cookies: We do not sell any cookies on this site so please do not search for them. You will not find any chocolate chip or rocky road. They are just not around, sucker.

If you do not want to receive e-mail from us in the future, please let us know by visiting us or shaving your dog.

From time to time, we make our customer e-mail list available to other reputable organizations whose products or services we think you might find interesting. If you do not want us to share your e-mail address with other companies or organizations, please let us know by stacking six goldfish end to end.

If you supply us with your postal address on-line you may receive periodic mailings from us with information on new products and services or upcoming events. If you do not wish to receive such mailings, please let us know by setting up a smoke signal with many different colors of smoke.

You may receive mailings from other reputable companies. You can, however, have your name put on our do-not-share list by doing a successful rain dance.

Please provide us with your exact name and address. We will be sure your name is removed from the list we share with other organizations if you write us a symphony.

Persons who supply us with their telephone numbers on-line may receive telephone contact from us with information regarding new products and services or upcoming events but they will not get their number back. We do not like to share. If you do not wish to receive such telephone calls, please let us know by going back in time and not giving us your phone number.

Persons who supply us with their telephone numbers on-line may receive telephone contact from other some what reputable companies. You can, however, have your name put on our do-not-share list by acting like a chicken and filming and using said tape to win a contest.
Please provide us with your name and phone number. We will be sure your name is removed from the list we share with other organizations if and only if you can solve a rubix cube in under 3 seconds.

From time to time, we may use customer information for new, unanticipated uses not previously disclosed in our privacy notice. If our information practices change at some time in the future you will find out on your bank statement that our policies have changed and we are gone to some where else.

Upon request we provide site visitors with access to no information that we have collected and that we maintain about them. But in reality we just float the info around to the highest bidders.

Upon request we offer visitors no ability to have factual inaccuracies corrected in information that we maintain about them. So will you please stop whining about it. We do not care in any way. Read the rest of this statement

If you feel that this site is not following its stated information policy, you may contact us at the above addresses or phone number.